20 seconds of insane courage
I am a “what if” type of person right down to my bones. What if I fail, what if I end up broke, what if I step off the kerb and get hit by a car, what if…what if…what if.
It. Is. Exhausting.
There are many points in my life and career where the “what if” is an asset. I write better code, I test systems better, I prepare better for virtually everything, I plan in painstaking detail then execute and it almost always succeeds. This is the double edged blade that the “what if” people of the world walk.
Too often the “what if” is a negative and can stop us doing what we want, our wants then become wishes. I wish I was brave enough, I wish I was strong enough etc. Very often we have the impulse to act and the “what if” kicks in as a safety mechanism. This is a learned fight or flight response. Although there is no quick fix here you can sometimes hack yourself to overcome it.
A few months ago I was attending the TestBashX conference from Ministry of testing (yes please go check them out). The end of these conferences consists of an open floor where you have 3 minutes to talk to the room about whatever you like. Out of the blue I stood up, grabbed the mic and talked to a room full of 100 strangers. My colleagues were stunned. The talk was not particularly high quality but that didn’t matter. Afterwards I explained to them how I did it, 20 seconds of insane courage.
Here are three steps you can follow to achieve for yourself when “what if” is a problem:
- Decide what narrative you want for yourself if consequences were of no consequence. Lock that into your mind. I felt I had information to share that may be of benefit.
- Think about immediately after the event and decide would you like to tell people you did it or stay silent because you didn’t. Don’t focus on the task, focus on the goal. I wanted to be able to say I stood in front of 100 strangers and spoken.
- Say to yourself “20 seconds of insane courage”, out loud if possible and then act without thinking. Do this even if you don’t feel courageous. Acknowledge the “what if” and tell it to wait 20 seconds. Thrust yourself into the situation and commit to the outcome, whatever it may be. I stood up without a word, walked across the room and grabbed the mic.
At this point you have won! Congratulations! You set a goal, you focussed on that goal and you had the courage to execute it. What happens here? Giving yourself permission in a time limited way lets you postpone the “what if” until it becomes irrelevant because you committed to a course of action.
One thing I want to make abundantly clear. I was TERRIFIED. I was sweating, my legs were shaking and my heart beat so loud I could barely hear. Now pay attention because this is important….
Courage and bravery are not the absence of fear, it is the will to act despite fear.
So the next time you want to do something and you feel the “what if” coming to keep you safe, say to yourself “20 seconds of insane courage” and then go for it. Win, lose or draw you can hold your head high for trying. Good luck!
